The Duke of Earl and I have a standing date every Thursday.
We go out to dinner.
Someplace in the $$ range...Ruta's, Islands, Lazy Dog...
These outings do not require anything fancy in the way of grooming,
but eating out is still special to me, so I always change my clothes
and fluff up my hair.
While sprucing up for last night's date, I noticed that my toe nail polish was less than perfect--a little chipped on the big toe tips.
As I was running a little late, the brilliant idea comes to me to multi-task.
I thought adding a little red touch-up polish to the toes while peeing would be a real time saver!
There has to be some advantage to peeing while seated, right?
I gave the polish pot a shake, loaded the brush, and bent forward.
I moved the beautiful red nail enamel from the brush and onto my right toe nail.
I'm feeling so efficient!
But then mid-task, Houston-we-have-a-problem.
I see a reservoir of red filling the channel between my toe nail
and the toe itself.
A lot of polish.
Way too much polish.
I finish my business and begin to correct the cosmetic problem.
I decide that I need to c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y remove the excess puddle of glamour
using a Q-tip...stripped of most of its cushioned tip, for a more accurate
clean up. This doesn't work.
The red gloss smears. Oh, dear.
I grab the polish remover and, with another altered Q-tip, dripped in the polish remover this time, run it along the overspreading mess.
The Q-tip acts like a wick, sucking more polish out of its trough and adding to the staining mess.
I am now 15 minutes late for my date.
My toe looks like I was finger painting and missed the paper.
I continue swabbing with polish remover until there is but a blush of color on the skin.
O.K. 20 minutes late.
I don't want to leave the acetone on my skin, but I can't wash my feet because the thick top layer of polish won't be dry for days.
I soak another Q-tip with water and wipe the skin around the nail, to at least dilute the chemicals.
25 minutes past the attempt to save time.
I'm almost ready to go---
I just need to pee first.
t.t.f.n. ~ Carol