Sunday, May 11, 2014

a bend in the pinky finger.... on becoming your mother

-posted by jennifer:

while looking at pictures recently, i found one that made me think of my mom.  of all of the ways that i am like my mom.   of all of the traits we share.  both physical and personality characteristics.

of course, traditionally, when these glimpses appear the whole thing is met with groans, and is the butt of many jokes.  "ugh!   i am becoming my mom!"  and i think  if we are being totally honest it is not the idea of becoming our mother (or father.... for my audience members with members!  haha!)  but more that we are suddenly aware that we are not ageless.  

i thought i would share some memories of when i saw my metamorphosis in action:

the inspiration for this post.  this picture.  did you think it was going to be of something more profound.    just a picture of a hand....
side note:  the ring i am wearing was made by designer maya.   
but when i saw this picture of my hand, i saw my mom's hand.  lovely isn't it?  the slight bend in the pinky?  i never had really noticed we shared this until i saw this photograph and saw my mom's hand in mine.

the earliest memory i have of this, is hearing my mom's voice on the answering machine.  i was across the house, and heard it.  and i started tripping out because i thought i was hearing my own voice.  
for years prior people had said how much we sound alike but i just didn't get it.  in fact, once, a woman called our house (when i was still living at home)  and started to talk to me like she thought i was my mom.  if i was a trouble child i could have used this to my advantage.  but of course, jennifer the wonderful would never do that.

growing up, i was always so bothered with the fact that  my mom didn't chew gum,  eat candy (other than chocolate), or drink coke (i think i saw her drink soda 3 times... give or take) 
it just didn't make sense to me.... i mean she was the mom.  she didn't even need to ask.  she had the world at her fingertips..  she could drink as much coke as she wanted.  it was always a treat at our house... all the more reason to binge!   but she almost always declined.  it never made sense to me.  and i laugh when i think of how much thought i put into all of this.  but now, when i say no to soda, gum (i do occasionally like a long as it is not sugar free.  i hate aspartame!), or gummy worms, i smile inwardly.  mostly at the looks of confusion on my children's faces.  they just don't get it.... someday they will.  but you just have to get there.  there is no explanation that makes sense in this instance.
but like my mother i love chocolate.  and like her, it is best late in the evening... before bed with tea or wine.

and of course there is the mirror. 
 mostly when catching a glimpse of myself when walking by a mirror... or the mirror on the sunshade in the car.  i will see at first my mom... and then myself.  and it is a lovely thing.  because she is a beautiful woman.  she is a good person.  she is a bit crazy.  and i couldn't be happier that i am becoming my mother.

happy mother's day!

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for this lovely Mother's Day gift Jennifer. Happy tears. I love you. Mom