Saturday, May 31, 2014

Haste makes waste or don't touch up your toe nail polish while you're peeing

The Duke of Earl and I have a standing date every Thursday.
We go out to dinner.
Someplace in the $$ range...Ruta's, Islands, Lazy Dog...
These outings do not require anything fancy in the way of grooming, 
but eating out is still special to me, so I always change my clothes 
and fluff up my hair.

While sprucing up for last night's date, I noticed that my toe nail polish was less than perfect--a little chipped on the big toe tips.  
As I was running a little late, the brilliant idea comes to me to multi-task.
I thought adding a little red touch-up polish to the toes while peeing would be a real time saver!

There has to be some advantage to peeing while seated, right?

I gave the polish pot a shake, loaded the brush, and bent forward.
I moved the beautiful red nail enamel from the brush and onto my right toe nail.
I'm feeling so efficient!
But then mid-task, Houston-we-have-a-problem.
I see a reservoir of red filling the channel between my toe nail
 and the toe itself.
A lot of polish.
Way too much polish.

I finish my business and begin to correct the cosmetic problem.
I decide that I need to c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y remove the excess puddle of glamour
using a Q-tip...stripped of most of its cushioned tip, for a more accurate
clean up.  This doesn't work.
The red gloss smears.  Oh, dear.

I grab the polish remover and, with another altered Q-tip, dripped in the polish remover this time, run it along the overspreading mess.
The Q-tip acts like a wick, sucking more polish out of its trough and adding to the staining mess.

I am now 15 minutes late for my date.
My toe looks like I was finger painting and missed the paper.

I continue swabbing with polish remover until there is but a blush of color on the skin.

O.K. 20 minutes late.

I don't want to leave the acetone on my skin, but I can't wash my feet because the thick top layer of polish won't be dry for days.
I soak another Q-tip with water and wipe the skin around the nail, to at least dilute the chemicals.

It's now
25 minutes past the attempt to save time.

I'm almost ready to go---
I just need to pee first.

t.t.f.n. ~ Carol

No comments:

Post a Comment