posted by: jennifer
it is the day after Saint Patrick's Day... my youngest went out into the living room first thing this morning and looked around. (just like she had done yesterday morning, and when she came home from school yesterday)
she came to the kitchen and announced "leprechauns don't like our house."
I didn't say a word.
then "you know why they don't like our house? because it's not clean, and so they can't mess it up."
hmmm.
when did Saint Patrick's Day get so out of hand? I have never particularly like the day. I hated the whole "you are going to get pinched if you don't wear green" shenanigans when I was in school, and still do. But I think when I was growing up, that is about all involved in the day.
By the way, my kids asked yesterday morning if I was wearing green. I said no. and then I said I don't like St. Patrick's Day.... but as I thought about it throughout the day, it is more I don't celebrate it.
these days though, the leprechauns come into the classrooms at school, and overturn trash cans, leave green footprints all over desks.
I have heard that they even go to houses, pee in the toilet (did you know they have green pee?) and forget to flush. well, that's the word in the hallways at the elementary school.
now, in all honesty, for a couple of years, I felt the pressure. The leprechauns did show up here a couple of times... they sprinkled some glitter and left some chocolate coins.
but I think they have got the point. this is not a good house to hit.
and it is okay. Because I don't think ankle breaking size holes, that have been covered with grass, in hopes of trapping a leprechaun, that are dug in the backyard (in the pathway no less) should be encouraged.
so, long story short, if you want to keep leprechauns away from your house, keep it messy.
thank goodness they don't like messy houses, because all I need is another creature reeking havoc up in here.
word!
Showing posts with label To Laugh. Show all posts
Showing posts with label To Laugh. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Sunday, November 30, 2014
naming your elf: choosing a moniker for your shelf dweller
posted by: jennifer
the last day of November... the eve of Orwell's arrival from the north pole.
Orwell being the elf on the shelf who lives with us for a few weeks in December.
what? your elf doesn't have a name?
well, we three who call this blog our own, put our heads together and came up with a fun game to help you with your elfin name decisions.
i give you the elf on the shelf name chart:
naturally, you begin at start.
from there, choose either nice or naughty.
from nice:
sugar or spice
from sugar:
dine or dig
if you choose dine: your next choice is popcorn or bacon
if you end on popcorn, the ideal name for your elf is Orville
if you end on bacon, the ideal name for your elf is Wilbur
if you choose dig: your next choice is rock or fossil
if you end on rock, the ideal name for your elf is Jasper
if you end on fossil, the ideal name for your elf is Leakey
from spice:
walk or gather
if you choose walk: your next choices are boots or bare feet
if you end on boots, the ideal name for your elf is Patton
if you end on bare feet, the ideal name for your elf is Gandhi
if you choose gather: your next choice is bucks or beads
if you end on bucks, the ideal name for your elf is Trump
if you end on beads, the ideal name for your elf is Lennon
from naughty:
stage or bedroom
from stage:
sing or dance
if you choose sing: your next choice is alto or soprano
if you end on alto, the ideal name for your elf is Jerimah
if you end on soprano, the ideal name for your elf is Kermit
if you choose dance: your next choice is Vegas club or yacht
if you end on Vegas club, the ideal name for your elf is Elvis
if you end on yacht, the ideal name for your elf is Magellan
from bedroom:
fashion or passion
if you choose fashion: your next choice is leather breeches or loincloth
if you end on leather breeches, the ideal name for your elf is Fabio
if you end on loincloth, the ideal name for your elf is Tarzan
if you choose passion: your next choice is brain or brawn
if you end on brain, the ideal name for your elf is Newton
if you end on brawn, the ideal name for your elf is Claude
so.... who is arriving on your doorstep to spend the holiday season? is it Wilber? or Patton? or does your elf have a name already? i know that my kids are looking forward to seeing what antics sneaky little Orwell will be getting into the is year.
happy last day of the month.
cheers!
the last day of November... the eve of Orwell's arrival from the north pole.
Orwell being the elf on the shelf who lives with us for a few weeks in December.
what? your elf doesn't have a name?
well, we three who call this blog our own, put our heads together and came up with a fun game to help you with your elfin name decisions.
i give you the elf on the shelf name chart:
naturally, you begin at start.
from there, choose either nice or naughty.
from nice:
sugar or spice
from sugar:
dine or dig
if you choose dine: your next choice is popcorn or bacon
if you end on popcorn, the ideal name for your elf is Orville
if you end on bacon, the ideal name for your elf is Wilbur
if you choose dig: your next choice is rock or fossil
if you end on rock, the ideal name for your elf is Jasper
if you end on fossil, the ideal name for your elf is Leakey
from spice:
walk or gather
if you choose walk: your next choices are boots or bare feet
if you end on boots, the ideal name for your elf is Patton
if you end on bare feet, the ideal name for your elf is Gandhi
if you choose gather: your next choice is bucks or beads
if you end on bucks, the ideal name for your elf is Trump
if you end on beads, the ideal name for your elf is Lennon
from naughty:
stage or bedroom
from stage:
sing or dance
if you choose sing: your next choice is alto or soprano
if you end on alto, the ideal name for your elf is Jerimah
if you end on soprano, the ideal name for your elf is Kermit
if you choose dance: your next choice is Vegas club or yacht
if you end on Vegas club, the ideal name for your elf is Elvis
if you end on yacht, the ideal name for your elf is Magellan
from bedroom:
fashion or passion
if you choose fashion: your next choice is leather breeches or loincloth
if you end on leather breeches, the ideal name for your elf is Fabio
if you end on loincloth, the ideal name for your elf is Tarzan
if you choose passion: your next choice is brain or brawn
if you end on brain, the ideal name for your elf is Newton
if you end on brawn, the ideal name for your elf is Claude
so.... who is arriving on your doorstep to spend the holiday season? is it Wilber? or Patton? or does your elf have a name already? i know that my kids are looking forward to seeing what antics sneaky little Orwell will be getting into the is year.
happy last day of the month.
cheers!
Saturday, August 16, 2014
YOLO= the fast life of a fruit fly
a poem by: jennifer
a glass of wine....
poured at 8:00
still untouched at 8:45
one might think it intentional
let it breathe
or, maybe...
things got
a bit hot and heavy...
forgotten until it is upended by a flailing limb
during loves passionate embrace.
but no. very much no.
i do not live like the fruit fly.
0.3 years
a life that revolves on wine and sex.
and yet, as i gaze...
into my wine glass
at 8:55
i find myself curious as to what life would be like
only to...
er....
mate.
and then die.
by drowning
in a glass of cabernet sauvignon.
because the reason the glass was here for the taking
by the fast living insect now dead
was because of the:
laundry
dishes
bad dreams
tapeworm in the kitten
while the wine is forgotten
by me.
cheers!
a glass of wine....
poured at 8:00
still untouched at 8:45
one might think it intentional
let it breathe
or, maybe...
things got
a bit hot and heavy...
forgotten until it is upended by a flailing limb
during loves passionate embrace.
but no. very much no.
i do not live like the fruit fly.
0.3 years
a life that revolves on wine and sex.
and yet, as i gaze...
into my wine glass
at 8:55
i find myself curious as to what life would be like
only to...
er....
mate.
and then die.
by drowning
in a glass of cabernet sauvignon.
because the reason the glass was here for the taking
by the fast living insect now dead
was because of the:
laundry
dishes
bad dreams
tapeworm in the kitten
while the wine is forgotten
by me.
cheers!
Saturday, August 9, 2014
money and maturing.
posted by: jennifer
thursday night my husband and i were able to go out on a real date....that is we left the house without the kids in tow, and were served dinner at a nice restaurant.
this is saying something, as our typical date night of late is eating after the kids are down... or at least after the youngest is asleep. if we waited until the oldest was asleep, well it would be new york late. i know that the cool people of the world eat dinner at 10:00, but really.
anyway, our hot date usually involves one of us going and getting takeout, and then watching a couple of shows on netflix as we eat our phil's bbq or greek chicken.
the other night, there was not an episode of weeds to be seen (yeah, we are a little behind on the shows we watch) and dinner did not come in a styrofoam clamshell. we were celebrating our 21st wedding anniversary, and we were going to mix it up dagnabit!
we arrived at heat bar + kitchen about 45 minutes prior to our reservation.... and happily, a happy hour was going on. we started talking to a gentleman sitting next to us at the bar, had a nice conversation, and then said goodbye when our table was ready. stay with me, there is a point this tidbit. (honestly.... it will come back around)
we had a great dinner... had the best seat in the house, i made sure i mentioned when i was making the reservations that it was our anniversary.... (read: free dessert and more leverage for a good table) during the course of my dinner however, i bit on a piece of plastic that had made it into my food... in something that had been pureed... i think it might have been cauliflower, or maybe turnips, i am not really sure, something white and creamy... whatever it was it was delicious. (and just to be clear i do know what my dish was... duck breast and farro.... i just don't know what it was resting on) and i didn't even want to stop eating after i discovered the plastic bit. but my ever responsible husband thought we should tell the server as i may not be the only person to get it in my food. the server was extremely concerned and apologetic. she had another plate made. and it was good... but in during the last couple of bites, yep, another bit of plastic.
at this point i thought she was going to think i was planting things into the dish to get a free meal. and it brought me back to 15 plus years ago.....
we were at a fancy restaurant in coronado, peohe's, with my husbands dad and his wife. this was back in the day when we could not afford to go to such an establishment if we had to pay for our meal... or maybe we just didn't have the credit we have now, hmmmm. regardless. during the course of my dinner i had a fly in my ice cube, i kid you not. and i had a big ass rubber band in my salad. i was informed the rubber band was probably from a lobster claw.... they put them over the claws so they don't amputate part of the chef's finger when they are being lowered into their jacuzzi tub of cooking water.... or something along those lines. i swear that they thought i had a bag of tricks i was reaching into to try to get a free meal. but come on, i already was getting a free meal by way of my in-laws. oh well. to be young and discriminated against.
back to more recent days.
when we got the bill they had taken off my meal, and the dessert was free (snap!) but the bill was still way to low. i mean we had ordered a bottle of wine... and the bill was $54.00. i realized they hadn't transferred our bar tab. i was determined not to seem like we were cheats trying to get a cheap dinner, and so i called it to the servers attention, as my husband was practically kicking me under the table let it slide... $54 dollars... and you want to make it $90... not really, but kind of. she checked into it, and the guy at the bar had taken care of our bar tab for us. now you see, if i hadn't said anything we would have thought we had gotten away with something and not known about an act of kindness bestowed upon us. and it got me to thinking about money and honesty and how it is kind a funny thing for me.
i love to find money on the ground, and when i do i kind of look around to see if someone may have dropped it, but it doesn't take long before it is in my pocket. and i am sure that when i was a kid i wouldn't have even looked around before i pocketed it. but i witnessed a 6th grader a few months ago find a $100 bill on the ground at school, and hand it over to the first teacher she saw. i have no idea why someone would have a $100 at school (dear god, not for some drug deal i hope.... great something else to worry about), but i hate to say that when i was in 6th grade, i don't know if i would have turned it in. i hope i would have but i don't know.
and i used to get so upset when my sister or husband would sample the bulk brach's candy at the grocery store. i thought i would end up in jail or something. maybe it is just guilt from my days of petty shoplifting.
like the time i really, really wanted my mom to buy rainbow mini marshmallows. she said no. so i, oh so sneakily, went to put them back, and on the way tore open the bag to grab a handful. at the same time a store employee came down the aisle. i dropped the handful down the front of the brown corduroy overalls i was wearing, and as i walked, they went down the leg and i left a rainbow trail behind me.
or the time i stole a few random adhesive address numbers from fullerton hardware. i got them home, and hid them under the carpet in the living room of my doll house. there they stayed, while i sweated bullets every time my mom came into my room sure she was going to lift the blue carpet and discover them. i finally threw them away.
but i can't let store errors go unnoticed. and have actually annoyed an employee who really doesn't care about the $1.50 item that i forgot to put on the conveyor belt... just take it, i don't care... the line is 10 people deep...nope i insist on them ringing it up on a different bill. this has only happened with male checkers... they tend to be less concerned with these matters it seems.
and on our summer road trip, i ordered a margarita. i have recently become an margarita connoisseur... this after a long hiatus from them due to a bad night of tequila shots and red wine. i couldn't stomach the smell of tequila for about 15 years or so. i can now. and a good margarita is a good thing. a bad margarita, not so much. anyway, i ordered a bad margarita. after one sip i decided i would rather have a beer. so i flagged down our waiter and told him i didn't like the margarita, and could i please have a negro modelo instead... i finished with "i will pay for the margarita though"(because i felt bad?!?) well, after a graceful display of squeezing the lime into the beer bottle, covering the bottle opening with my thumb and turning it upside down... only to have the beer spray all over me, the table, and perhaps the ceiling... the bill came with both the beer and the nasty ass margarita charged. and obviously it is still festering.
why?
well you know what? as i reflect on what is just wrote, i just shot my theory out of the water. my original post was going to be why do i not worry about money honesty some of the time, and other times it is great to get away with something. but i just realized that i must be maturing. i think i am pretty honest these days. huh. and as long as you make it right, and don't charge me for your sub par margarita from a plastic jug from smart and final that i didn't even drink, i am good. i will be honest with you, but i would appreciate it if you were fair with me.
and by the way, i no longer even like marshmallows. or adhesive address numbers. or brach's bulk candy...... except the butterscotch ones. only if they are already paid for please and thank you.
cheers!
thursday night my husband and i were able to go out on a real date....that is we left the house without the kids in tow, and were served dinner at a nice restaurant.
this is saying something, as our typical date night of late is eating after the kids are down... or at least after the youngest is asleep. if we waited until the oldest was asleep, well it would be new york late. i know that the cool people of the world eat dinner at 10:00, but really.
anyway, our hot date usually involves one of us going and getting takeout, and then watching a couple of shows on netflix as we eat our phil's bbq or greek chicken.
the other night, there was not an episode of weeds to be seen (yeah, we are a little behind on the shows we watch) and dinner did not come in a styrofoam clamshell. we were celebrating our 21st wedding anniversary, and we were going to mix it up dagnabit!
we arrived at heat bar + kitchen about 45 minutes prior to our reservation.... and happily, a happy hour was going on. we started talking to a gentleman sitting next to us at the bar, had a nice conversation, and then said goodbye when our table was ready. stay with me, there is a point this tidbit. (honestly.... it will come back around)
we had a great dinner... had the best seat in the house, i made sure i mentioned when i was making the reservations that it was our anniversary.... (read: free dessert and more leverage for a good table) during the course of my dinner however, i bit on a piece of plastic that had made it into my food... in something that had been pureed... i think it might have been cauliflower, or maybe turnips, i am not really sure, something white and creamy... whatever it was it was delicious. (and just to be clear i do know what my dish was... duck breast and farro.... i just don't know what it was resting on) and i didn't even want to stop eating after i discovered the plastic bit. but my ever responsible husband thought we should tell the server as i may not be the only person to get it in my food. the server was extremely concerned and apologetic. she had another plate made. and it was good... but in during the last couple of bites, yep, another bit of plastic.
at this point i thought she was going to think i was planting things into the dish to get a free meal. and it brought me back to 15 plus years ago.....
we were at a fancy restaurant in coronado, peohe's, with my husbands dad and his wife. this was back in the day when we could not afford to go to such an establishment if we had to pay for our meal... or maybe we just didn't have the credit we have now, hmmmm. regardless. during the course of my dinner i had a fly in my ice cube, i kid you not. and i had a big ass rubber band in my salad. i was informed the rubber band was probably from a lobster claw.... they put them over the claws so they don't amputate part of the chef's finger when they are being lowered into their jacuzzi tub of cooking water.... or something along those lines. i swear that they thought i had a bag of tricks i was reaching into to try to get a free meal. but come on, i already was getting a free meal by way of my in-laws. oh well. to be young and discriminated against.
back to more recent days.
when we got the bill they had taken off my meal, and the dessert was free (snap!) but the bill was still way to low. i mean we had ordered a bottle of wine... and the bill was $54.00. i realized they hadn't transferred our bar tab. i was determined not to seem like we were cheats trying to get a cheap dinner, and so i called it to the servers attention, as my husband was practically kicking me under the table let it slide... $54 dollars... and you want to make it $90... not really, but kind of. she checked into it, and the guy at the bar had taken care of our bar tab for us. now you see, if i hadn't said anything we would have thought we had gotten away with something and not known about an act of kindness bestowed upon us. and it got me to thinking about money and honesty and how it is kind a funny thing for me.
i love to find money on the ground, and when i do i kind of look around to see if someone may have dropped it, but it doesn't take long before it is in my pocket. and i am sure that when i was a kid i wouldn't have even looked around before i pocketed it. but i witnessed a 6th grader a few months ago find a $100 bill on the ground at school, and hand it over to the first teacher she saw. i have no idea why someone would have a $100 at school (dear god, not for some drug deal i hope.... great something else to worry about), but i hate to say that when i was in 6th grade, i don't know if i would have turned it in. i hope i would have but i don't know.
and i used to get so upset when my sister or husband would sample the bulk brach's candy at the grocery store. i thought i would end up in jail or something. maybe it is just guilt from my days of petty shoplifting.
like the time i really, really wanted my mom to buy rainbow mini marshmallows. she said no. so i, oh so sneakily, went to put them back, and on the way tore open the bag to grab a handful. at the same time a store employee came down the aisle. i dropped the handful down the front of the brown corduroy overalls i was wearing, and as i walked, they went down the leg and i left a rainbow trail behind me.
or the time i stole a few random adhesive address numbers from fullerton hardware. i got them home, and hid them under the carpet in the living room of my doll house. there they stayed, while i sweated bullets every time my mom came into my room sure she was going to lift the blue carpet and discover them. i finally threw them away.
but i can't let store errors go unnoticed. and have actually annoyed an employee who really doesn't care about the $1.50 item that i forgot to put on the conveyor belt... just take it, i don't care... the line is 10 people deep...nope i insist on them ringing it up on a different bill. this has only happened with male checkers... they tend to be less concerned with these matters it seems.
and on our summer road trip, i ordered a margarita. i have recently become an margarita connoisseur... this after a long hiatus from them due to a bad night of tequila shots and red wine. i couldn't stomach the smell of tequila for about 15 years or so. i can now. and a good margarita is a good thing. a bad margarita, not so much. anyway, i ordered a bad margarita. after one sip i decided i would rather have a beer. so i flagged down our waiter and told him i didn't like the margarita, and could i please have a negro modelo instead... i finished with "i will pay for the margarita though"(because i felt bad?!?) well, after a graceful display of squeezing the lime into the beer bottle, covering the bottle opening with my thumb and turning it upside down... only to have the beer spray all over me, the table, and perhaps the ceiling... the bill came with both the beer and the nasty ass margarita charged. and obviously it is still festering.
why?
well you know what? as i reflect on what is just wrote, i just shot my theory out of the water. my original post was going to be why do i not worry about money honesty some of the time, and other times it is great to get away with something. but i just realized that i must be maturing. i think i am pretty honest these days. huh. and as long as you make it right, and don't charge me for your sub par margarita from a plastic jug from smart and final that i didn't even drink, i am good. i will be honest with you, but i would appreciate it if you were fair with me.
and by the way, i no longer even like marshmallows. or adhesive address numbers. or brach's bulk candy...... except the butterscotch ones. only if they are already paid for please and thank you.
cheers!
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Saturday, May 31, 2014
Haste makes waste or don't touch up your toe nail polish while you're peeing
The Duke of Earl and I have a standing date every Thursday.
We go out to dinner.
Someplace in the $$ range...Ruta's, Islands, Lazy Dog...
These outings do not require anything fancy in the way of grooming,
but eating out is still special to me, so I always change my clothes
and fluff up my hair.
While sprucing up for last night's date, I noticed that my toe nail polish was less than perfect--a little chipped on the big toe tips.
As I was running a little late, the brilliant idea comes to me to multi-task.
I thought adding a little red touch-up polish to the toes while peeing would be a real time saver!
There has to be some advantage to peeing while seated, right?
I gave the polish pot a shake, loaded the brush, and bent forward.
I moved the beautiful red nail enamel from the brush and onto my right toe nail.
I'm feeling so efficient!
But then mid-task, Houston-we-have-a-problem.
I see a reservoir of red filling the channel between my toe nail
and the toe itself.
A lot of polish.
Way too much polish.
I finish my business and begin to correct the cosmetic problem.
I decide that I need to c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y remove the excess puddle of glamour
using a Q-tip...stripped of most of its cushioned tip, for a more accurate
clean up. This doesn't work.
The red gloss smears. Oh, dear.
I grab the polish remover and, with another altered Q-tip, dripped in the polish remover this time, run it along the overspreading mess.
The Q-tip acts like a wick, sucking more polish out of its trough and adding to the staining mess.
I am now 15 minutes late for my date.
My toe looks like I was finger painting and missed the paper.
I continue swabbing with polish remover until there is but a blush of color on the skin.
O.K. 20 minutes late.
I don't want to leave the acetone on my skin, but I can't wash my feet because the thick top layer of polish won't be dry for days.
I soak another Q-tip with water and wipe the skin around the nail, to at least dilute the chemicals.
It's now
25 minutes past the attempt to save time.
I'm almost ready to go---
I just need to pee first.
t.t.f.n. ~ Carol
Sunday, May 18, 2014
i've got 99 worries and a bitch ain't one
posted by jennifer:
99. will the above ground pool burst and flood the neighbors?
98. is that dry spot on my nose early skin cancer?
97. will using the word bitch in the title of this post offend someone?
96. should i have kept those reef flip flops instead of sending them back?
95. is my evening margarita cocktail causing my recent weight gain?
94. are those bug bites or a rash?
93. do i have enough clothes for summer? because after that last heat wave it doesn't seem
so.
92. did i remember to lock up the chickens for the night?
91. did the kids brush and floss?
90. is smart rinse bad for the kids?
89. should i be having the kids do more chores?
88. did i give the kids their allowance last month?
87. is my extreme fatigue a side effect of some serious condition?
86. does my breath stink?
85. are the tires overdue for a rotation?
84. should i get a spare key made for the car?
83. will i ever find time to work on my etsy shop?
82. do i turn left or right?
81. am i going to be late for pick-up?
80. are these apples going to be mealy?
79. is this chicken really, really free range?
78. did the checker give me my milk bottle deposit back?
77. am i going to be able to use this broccoli before it yellows?
76. should i buy non-0rganic onions since they don't have any organic onions in stock?
75. is that normal?
74. will my apple tree survive being transplanted?
73. will the gophers get through this wire mesh?
72. will this drought end soon?
71. when do i need to have the paperwork in for girl scout camp?
70. did i already pay for camp in full?
69. when are the kids due for their dental appointments?
68. what country are the tdap vaccines manufactured in?
67. how much longer before i need to buy more lay crumble for the chickens?
66. am i going to get any tomatoes from my garden this year?
65. did i plant too many tomatoes this year?
64. where is my bathing suit bottom? did i leave it at the hotel?
63. are there remains of any buried pets in this spot of yard? is it safe to dig here?
62. where did that needle drop?
61. did i get all the pieces of broken glass picked up?
60. is it a sinus infection or just allergies?
59. is there anything in my teeth?
58. did i give emma her lunch money?
57. are we almost out of milk?
56. is there enough milk for my morning tea at least?
55. has the laundry in the washing machine sat so long it is starting to stink?
54. did i leave the water running?
53. did i turn the oven off?
52. is this a heart attack or just gas?
51. am i going to have to stop drinking coffee because of this heartburn?
50. what is more important? shade grown coffee or fair trade?
49. why doesn't target label what country market pantry items are made in?
48. where is my sugar from?
47. am i part of problem when i watch the kardashians?
46. is khloe doing okay?
45. should i have sent thank you notes for maya's birthday gifts?
44. where are those library books?
43. how much can you owe in library fines and still be able to check books out?
42. should i change trash disposal companies?
41. should i change our cable service to direct tv?
40. would it be better to just get rid of the tv?
39. am i almost out of tampons?
38. when will i go through menopause?
37. do i need to wash this new shirt before i wear it for the first time?
36. are the other harry potter movies appropriate for emma?
35. do i get enough iodine in my diet?
34. am i charging too much for my totes?
33. am i shortchanging myself on my totes?
32. is my cast iron griddle ruined?
31. is cooking spray slowly giving us cancer?
30. why am i having such a hard time finding aluminum free baking powder?
29. how is it possible that the fda is so corrupt?
28. are the rollie pollies going to eat my seedlings tonight?
27. how safe is this sluggo plus anyway?
26. is the venus flytrap getting enough to eat?
25. is it bad that i crave onion rings 3x a week?
24. are alexia frozen onion rings really all natural?
23. will the smell of onion rings cooking at 9:30 p.m. attract any kids already in bed?
22. are my computer passwords secure?
21. should we put handrails up in the front yard?
20. should i have hidden my emerging gray?
19. what kind of hairstyle am i going to have in 30 years.... when i am 73 years old?
18. am i supposed to be doing self breast exams?
17. is the amount of pee i leak when i sneeze going to get greater as i age?
16. is this normal?
15. are these cut off yoga pants baggy in the rear?
14. will i ever be passionate about yoga again?
13. will we ever get the kitchen floor done?
12. are those asbestos tiles on the kitchen floor?
11. it is strange that i painted that paint sample on the kitchen wall a year ago and nothing
more has been done?
10. is a stove hood vent really necessary?
9. will ryan have another bad reaction to a bee sting?
8. am i too outspoken?
7. am i not outspoken enough?
6. how long has that chicken broth in the refrigerator been open?
5. is it too hot to make soup for dinner?
4. will this surge protector protect the refrigerator during a power failure?
3. do we have batteries for the headlamps?
2. do i look like a total dork in this headlamp?
1. will i ever be ready to own another dog? because right now dog sitting for a couple of
days scratches any itch on that front.
cheers!
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
from the mouths of babes
posted by jennifer:
a conversation with a 5 year old.... from a nonreligious household.
her: "who is that of picture of? on that flag."
i look across the street to our neighbors house. they have a banner with a picture of jesus hanging up.
me: "that is jesus. he was a man who lived thousands of years ago."
her: "he looks like a girl."
me: "no he is a man. some people think that he" ....(here i was going to continue with "is the son of god" )
she interrupts: "that he is a girl?"
i think jesus would have been alright with this... because even though i don't subscribe to a religion in his name. i do think he probably was one cool cat.
cheers!
a conversation with a 5 year old.... from a nonreligious household.
her: "who is that of picture of? on that flag."
i look across the street to our neighbors house. they have a banner with a picture of jesus hanging up.
me: "that is jesus. he was a man who lived thousands of years ago."
her: "he looks like a girl."
me: "no he is a man. some people think that he" ....(here i was going to continue with "is the son of god" )
she interrupts: "that he is a girl?"
i think jesus would have been alright with this... because even though i don't subscribe to a religion in his name. i do think he probably was one cool cat.
cheers!
Friday, April 11, 2014
pink stinkhorn and other lovelies. no photographs included. but feel free to research the images yourself. if you dare.
posted by: jennifer
so, last week i was in the front yard and noticed something popping out of the earth. it was about 6 inches long, pink, and stalky. i know huh? sounds lovely. the tip of this thing was covered with flies. i mildly freaked out. i thought maybe it was a small rib bone... fresh. i tend to have an active imagination. my mind went other places as well... maybe it was something alien? where did you think i was going? okay, it did seem slightly phallic... but really not so much at the same time.
i was quite brave. i got a plastic bag, and pulled it out.... i determined immediately that it was not a bone. maybe an alien life form... i threw it away. and pretty much forgot about it. we had a crazy day on friday, and this was pushed to the recesses of my mind. until another one came up. (5 have been spotted thus far)
at this point i decided to research it. we have pink stinkhorn fungi spores in our yard. who knew these lovelies existed?
on another note: chilblains.
have you heard of them? a couple of times a year i have these lovely outbreaks on my toes.
they are bright red and at times insanely itchy. they stick around for a couple of weeks, going through a few stages. they then disappear for many months.
on doing research i have come to find that many people silently suffer from this condition. i think that we need to shed some light on this matter. chilblain sufferers unite! although i honestly don't know what we would do for each other.... encourage others to be strong, and to not scratch.... offer helpful tips on what footwear will cover up the chilblains, but will let air in to help them heal.
lastly. earlier this week i spent a couple of days with my oldest child at the beach. we both love beach combing.
side note: i just looked up beachcomber in my vintage (1972) dictionary. i wanted to make sure it was one word. the definition of beachcomber is: a man who loafs on beaches or wharves, esp. on a south sea island, living on what he can beg or find.
hmm. well, by that definition, we are not beachcombers. however, we do like to comb the beaches for shells, rocks, and other treasures.
second side note: did you know that extreme temperatures are not good for people who get chilblains? walking barefoot in 59 degree water and then walking on 95 degree sand probably did not help with my... ahem... condition.
anyway. while beach combing. i found not only several sand dollars, a couple of bones, (one i thought might have been from a whale. my husband feels it is probably a rib bone... from someones b.b.q.) and a pair of diving goggles... but i also found what i thought might have been a fossilized piece of a sea star leg/ray/appendage. i took it back to our hotel room.
while sorting through our finds i couldn't help but notice that there was a strong smell of the sea in my treasure pile. i showed it to my daughter who has a knack for finding fossils. she informed me that no it wasn't fossilized.
well, i am not sure how to end this post. but maybe just with this. what you think might be a rib bone may just be a fungus. what you think might be an ancient whale bone may just be a rib bone. but always keep an open mind. because you never know.
cheers!
so, last week i was in the front yard and noticed something popping out of the earth. it was about 6 inches long, pink, and stalky. i know huh? sounds lovely. the tip of this thing was covered with flies. i mildly freaked out. i thought maybe it was a small rib bone... fresh. i tend to have an active imagination. my mind went other places as well... maybe it was something alien? where did you think i was going? okay, it did seem slightly phallic... but really not so much at the same time.
i was quite brave. i got a plastic bag, and pulled it out.... i determined immediately that it was not a bone. maybe an alien life form... i threw it away. and pretty much forgot about it. we had a crazy day on friday, and this was pushed to the recesses of my mind. until another one came up. (5 have been spotted thus far)
at this point i decided to research it. we have pink stinkhorn fungi spores in our yard. who knew these lovelies existed?
on another note: chilblains.
have you heard of them? a couple of times a year i have these lovely outbreaks on my toes.
they are bright red and at times insanely itchy. they stick around for a couple of weeks, going through a few stages. they then disappear for many months.
on doing research i have come to find that many people silently suffer from this condition. i think that we need to shed some light on this matter. chilblain sufferers unite! although i honestly don't know what we would do for each other.... encourage others to be strong, and to not scratch.... offer helpful tips on what footwear will cover up the chilblains, but will let air in to help them heal.
lastly. earlier this week i spent a couple of days with my oldest child at the beach. we both love beach combing.
side note: i just looked up beachcomber in my vintage (1972) dictionary. i wanted to make sure it was one word. the definition of beachcomber is: a man who loafs on beaches or wharves, esp. on a south sea island, living on what he can beg or find.
hmm. well, by that definition, we are not beachcombers. however, we do like to comb the beaches for shells, rocks, and other treasures.
second side note: did you know that extreme temperatures are not good for people who get chilblains? walking barefoot in 59 degree water and then walking on 95 degree sand probably did not help with my... ahem... condition.
anyway. while beach combing. i found not only several sand dollars, a couple of bones, (one i thought might have been from a whale. my husband feels it is probably a rib bone... from someones b.b.q.) and a pair of diving goggles... but i also found what i thought might have been a fossilized piece of a sea star leg/ray/appendage. i took it back to our hotel room.
while sorting through our finds i couldn't help but notice that there was a strong smell of the sea in my treasure pile. i showed it to my daughter who has a knack for finding fossils. she informed me that no it wasn't fossilized.
well, i am not sure how to end this post. but maybe just with this. what you think might be a rib bone may just be a fungus. what you think might be an ancient whale bone may just be a rib bone. but always keep an open mind. because you never know.
cheers!
Sunday, February 23, 2014
i've never gotten a tattoo, but i think i must have sucker written across my forehead (Me too!)
posted by jennifer and April
so i did a quick trip to albertson's friday morning. i had to get one item... ricotta cheese.
it is not one of my normal shopping stops, but since it is close, it is good for those random forgotten items.
when i first went in the door, i noticed an advertisement for a game they started. monopoly. you know those grocery store gimmicks (which by the way, i just looked up in my dictionary circa 1972... and the first definition of gimmick is: a secret means of controlling a prize wheel, ect. anything that tricks or mystifies; deceptive or secret device) telling... very telling.
now, i had two reactions to this... almost simultaneously. one being oooh a monopoly game. fun! and the second being, ugh! not another scam game.
i remember the great albertson game fiasco of 2011... (or 2012... or whenever) when i was so into it. i would spend so much time obsessing about what stickers i needed to win a hawaiian vacation. i didn't win anything. i had 16 duplicate stickers for multiple items, and was one sticker away from winning 10 million dollars... but not even a $5.00 shopping spree was to be had. I too, was instantly brought back to the last time they did this Collect- these- tiny- coupons- lick- and- stick- ‘em- on- a- game- board- game- waste- hours- hoping- to-win- an- elusive- prize game of 2012… and so when I saw the poor 19 year old kid dressed as a Monopoly man I, like my sister, had two very opposite feelings at the exact same time. YeS!!! FUN!!! I’m may win a prize!!! And at the same time… No!!! UrGH!!! Puhlease…I’m no sucker!!!
nevertheless, within 10 feet of walking in the door, i had 3 packages of red vines in my hand.
you get a bonus ticket for each package. i excused this for myself by thinking that they would be great for a movie night over the weekend.
then, when i got to the checkout line, i was thinking, if the checker asks if i am playing the monopoly game, should i tell her no? it is like the classic angel on one shoulder, devil on the other. but in this case, one one shoulder is a calm and sensible gentleman shaking his head.
with the supreme knowledge that nothing will come out of this "game" other than a littering of spare game pieces at the bottom of my purse, and possibly adhesive on the tickets that might make me sick when i lick them. on the other shoulder is a fun 17 year old. jumping up and down. her side ponytail flipping around. squealing in delight at the prospect of $10,000,000. or maybe just a hawaiian vacation.
I made it to the check out all proud of myself. The checker said to the old woman in front of me, “ You earned 5 game tickets” And my pulse quickened! See, I AM a sucker… I just try to keep that in check. But being a sucker can be so much FUN! So, when the old woman said “No, I don’t need those”. I wanted to scream “Give ‘em here!” or at least say politely, “I’ll take them.” But I didn’t. Instead I thought…wow-what a responsible, sane old woman. I thought that for a moment but I did collect my (1) ticket and on my way out I thought… I like playing games. It’s fun. Darn it. I should have asked that old lady who doesn't play shell games for her tickets.
so when the checker handed me my 4 tickets i calmly accepted them. however, i didn't take the game board....not from my checkers line at least. i was still in the middle of the battle between mr. sensible, and miss fun. but as i walked towards the exit, i stopped at the last check line before the door. to grab a game board.
i did however use a wet paper towel to moisten the game pieces. Not me… That toxic glue is delish! Do you remember when we’d go to the post office with mom if she had a bunch of mail like a pile of Christmas cards? and how fun it was to lick the stamps?!
cheers! -Jennifer XO, April
so i did a quick trip to albertson's friday morning. i had to get one item... ricotta cheese.
it is not one of my normal shopping stops, but since it is close, it is good for those random forgotten items.
when i first went in the door, i noticed an advertisement for a game they started. monopoly. you know those grocery store gimmicks (which by the way, i just looked up in my dictionary circa 1972... and the first definition of gimmick is: a secret means of controlling a prize wheel, ect. anything that tricks or mystifies; deceptive or secret device) telling... very telling.
now, i had two reactions to this... almost simultaneously. one being oooh a monopoly game. fun! and the second being, ugh! not another scam game.
(When I walked into my Albertsons, there was this poor guy dressed up like the Monopoly man passing out the game boards.)
i remember the great albertson game fiasco of 2011... (or 2012... or whenever) when i was so into it. i would spend so much time obsessing about what stickers i needed to win a hawaiian vacation. i didn't win anything. i had 16 duplicate stickers for multiple items, and was one sticker away from winning 10 million dollars... but not even a $5.00 shopping spree was to be had. I too, was instantly brought back to the last time they did this Collect- these- tiny- coupons- lick- and- stick- ‘em- on- a- game- board- game- waste- hours- hoping- to-win- an- elusive- prize game of 2012… and so when I saw the poor 19 year old kid dressed as a Monopoly man I, like my sister, had two very opposite feelings at the exact same time. YeS!!! FUN!!! I’m may win a prize!!! And at the same time… No!!! UrGH!!! Puhlease…I’m no sucker!!!
nevertheless, within 10 feet of walking in the door, i had 3 packages of red vines in my hand.
you get a bonus ticket for each package. i excused this for myself by thinking that they would be great for a movie night over the weekend.
I kept right on task- Next to the can of olives I was going to buy was another can...that came
with a bonus ticket! I was not swayed. In my head kept running the puhlease!!!
I’m no sucker! I picked up the can I would normally buy and congratulated myself for not getting caught up in the sham, racket, flimflam.
then, when i got to the checkout line, i was thinking, if the checker asks if i am playing the monopoly game, should i tell her no? it is like the classic angel on one shoulder, devil on the other. but in this case, one one shoulder is a calm and sensible gentleman shaking his head.
with the supreme knowledge that nothing will come out of this "game" other than a littering of spare game pieces at the bottom of my purse, and possibly adhesive on the tickets that might make me sick when i lick them. on the other shoulder is a fun 17 year old. jumping up and down. her side ponytail flipping around. squealing in delight at the prospect of $10,000,000. or maybe just a hawaiian vacation.
I made it to the check out all proud of myself. The checker said to the old woman in front of me, “ You earned 5 game tickets” And my pulse quickened! See, I AM a sucker… I just try to keep that in check. But being a sucker can be so much FUN! So, when the old woman said “No, I don’t need those”. I wanted to scream “Give ‘em here!” or at least say politely, “I’ll take them.” But I didn’t. Instead I thought…wow-what a responsible, sane old woman. I thought that for a moment but I did collect my (1) ticket and on my way out I thought… I like playing games. It’s fun. Darn it. I should have asked that old lady who doesn't play shell games for her tickets.
so when the checker handed me my 4 tickets i calmly accepted them. however, i didn't take the game board....not from my checkers line at least. i was still in the middle of the battle between mr. sensible, and miss fun. but as i walked towards the exit, i stopped at the last check line before the door. to grab a game board.
i did however use a wet paper towel to moisten the game pieces. Not me… That toxic glue is delish! Do you remember when we’d go to the post office with mom if she had a bunch of mail like a pile of Christmas cards? and how fun it was to lick the stamps?!
cheers! -Jennifer XO, April
Friday, January 31, 2014
introspection on a new pair of shoes
posted by jennifer:
yesterday morning, while doing a frantic search for a pair of missing shoes.... and realizing we only had one pair of school shoes for maya.... i decided we needed a second pair.
i already had in my mind that i would be taking emma out to buy shoes, before her big toe completely broke through.... so the three of us girls went out yesterday.
maya immediately was drawn to a pair of twinkle toe shoes.... light up shoes. she tried a pair on, and loved them. now, i usually shy away from these kinds of shoes. in fact, i am not sure if any of my kids ever have had a pair. but the pure joy on her face. i knew that i was going to cave.
once they were on her feet, they didn't come off, until we were home.
now, this isn't to say that once i decided she could have them i stopped thinking about it. as she was putting the first shoe on i was already thinking "her teacher is going to hate me".... and i made sure i reminded her about lilly's purple plastic purse and how mr. slinger didn't
like when lilly was disrupting the class with her purple plastic purse, her movie star sunglasses, and her three shiny quarters.
about 3 minutes later, still thinking are these okay for school?, i asked emma, did kids wear light up shoes to school in elementary? "yes, mom".
elapsed time as emma looks and and tries on shoes.....
about 15 minutes later, while in the oh, so clean bathroom at the shoe store... maya still in her twinkle toes.... internal thought "what if i decide she can't have these... and now they have been walking on this dirty floor" like i would really tell her no at this point... what do i take myself for?
about 1 hour later.... at home. internal thought "what in sam hill was i thinking? these things are going to give me a seizure. oh, i hope that they don't give her a seizure" vocalized thought... "maya don't look at the lights too much. they might hurt your eyes".
about 15 hours later... in the girls darkened room. going with maya to wake up emma. (maya wearing only one of said shoes).... internal thought "ha! i bet wanted criminals would get nervous to be woken up by someone wearing these".... red and blue lights.... dancing across the room.
about 15 hours 5 minutes later. "mom, i can't find my other shoe"
about 15 hours 5 minutes 2 seconds later. internal thought "hmm. is this a good thing or a bad thing?"
well, i guess i should go and help maya find her other shoe. but i think when we do find it i am going to be sure to go on a rant about how we are not going to be buying light up shoes again. but no worries, i will find other things to overthink about.
cheers!
yesterday morning, while doing a frantic search for a pair of missing shoes.... and realizing we only had one pair of school shoes for maya.... i decided we needed a second pair.
i already had in my mind that i would be taking emma out to buy shoes, before her big toe completely broke through.... so the three of us girls went out yesterday.
maya immediately was drawn to a pair of twinkle toe shoes.... light up shoes. she tried a pair on, and loved them. now, i usually shy away from these kinds of shoes. in fact, i am not sure if any of my kids ever have had a pair. but the pure joy on her face. i knew that i was going to cave.
once they were on her feet, they didn't come off, until we were home.
now, this isn't to say that once i decided she could have them i stopped thinking about it. as she was putting the first shoe on i was already thinking "her teacher is going to hate me".... and i made sure i reminded her about lilly's purple plastic purse and how mr. slinger didn't
like when lilly was disrupting the class with her purple plastic purse, her movie star sunglasses, and her three shiny quarters.
about 3 minutes later, still thinking are these okay for school?, i asked emma, did kids wear light up shoes to school in elementary? "yes, mom".
elapsed time as emma looks and and tries on shoes.....
about 15 minutes later, while in the oh, so clean bathroom at the shoe store... maya still in her twinkle toes.... internal thought "what if i decide she can't have these... and now they have been walking on this dirty floor" like i would really tell her no at this point... what do i take myself for?
about 1 hour later.... at home. internal thought "what in sam hill was i thinking? these things are going to give me a seizure. oh, i hope that they don't give her a seizure" vocalized thought... "maya don't look at the lights too much. they might hurt your eyes".
about 15 hours later... in the girls darkened room. going with maya to wake up emma. (maya wearing only one of said shoes).... internal thought "ha! i bet wanted criminals would get nervous to be woken up by someone wearing these".... red and blue lights.... dancing across the room.
about 15 hours 5 minutes later. "mom, i can't find my other shoe"
about 15 hours 5 minutes 2 seconds later. internal thought "hmm. is this a good thing or a bad thing?"
well, i guess i should go and help maya find her other shoe. but i think when we do find it i am going to be sure to go on a rant about how we are not going to be buying light up shoes again. but no worries, i will find other things to overthink about.
cheers!
Monday, January 27, 2014
I love you...
Ways to say it….
*I love you more than all the ants
in a greedy anteater's snout.
(I just
read that an anteater can eat 30,000 ants in a day. Who counted that?)
*I love you more than one lady loves her pupas.
*I love you
more than all the 4 leaf clovers in Edward Martin's collection. He is the World
Record Holder. Beating George Kaminski (who was in prison! and found his
clovers within prison walls. Can this be real?) I am finding multiple sources
saying it's so... cRaZy! Check out this Chicago Tribune Article
*Love you
more than the 100 tons of dust fragments that enter earth's atmosphere daily.
*I love you
more than the amount of time I could spend searching for mind blowing facts
to tell you just how much....
hehehe.
Happy Tuesday to you all.
XO,
April
Monday, January 13, 2014
Really, what are they thinking?
Sometimes when you are going through weighty times, you are thrown a nugget of lightness that helps to keep the stymies of life at bay. I got such a plum the other day.
My current serious and difficult challenge is getting my 93 year old, fiercely independent father off the road. And I don't mean off the road as a cane carrying pedestrian. I mean, off the road from behind the wheel of his Honda, which is more of a bumper car lately.
Just when I think I'm going to scream at the latest road block in taking the keys away from this man, who use to take the keys away from me, a funny story unfolds right in front of me to lighten my mood.
I was in the Whittier Trader Joe's last week, having stopped there on my way to picking up my dad to take him to an ophthalmologist appointment. I was next in line to pay for my groceries, standing behind a little old lady. (From here on out to be referred to as LOL. Pun intended.)
This LOL had told the cashier she wanted each of her 6 bananas rang up separately. The cashier dutifully scanned each banana separately, along with all her other items.
LOL got agitated at the clerk at one point, for a reason unclear to the patient Trader Joe's employee and to me, as I watched this drama unfold.
When the groceries were all scanned and bagged, LOL finally makes it clear that she had wanted each and every item PURCHASED separately.
Clerk verified with LOL that she really wanted to pay for each item separately. Yes, she did.
Clerk cancelled the first transaction and started over again. (I was encouraged to go to a different cashier at this point, but hung around to see what happened.)
Each banana, (housed in its own separate plastic bag), each carton of yogurt, each and every item required a separate transaction---
a swipe of her card, the entering of her pin, the cash back ? prompt, the o.k. the amount, the giving of the individual receipt.
.19 banana = receipt
.99 yogurt = receipt
.19 banana = receipt
1.79 sour cream = receipt
2.99 orange juice = receipt
.19 banana = receipt
1.49 tuna = receipt
I would guess she purchased some 25 items.
The cashier, Dee Dee, remained friendly, albeit confused. The customer tapped away at the key pad and amassed a stack of receipts.
As I was driving out of the parking lot, LOL was loading up the trunk of her car with the groceries. I couldn't help wonder if she purchases every gallon of gasoline separately? Does she require a separate transaction for each postage stamp she purchases at the post office?
I don't know what would motivate such a request, but it gave me something else to think about for awhile, and I was grateful for that.
Hmm...and
I wonder if she should be driving?
I don't know what would motivate such a request, but it gave me something else to think about for awhile, and I was grateful for that.
Hmm...and
I wonder if she should be driving?
t.t.f.n. ~ Carol
Sunday, January 5, 2014
seen and heard on my street: a gorilla and the devil??
posted by jennifer:
seen: a gorilla. do you see it in the face of the mountain? above and to the left of the blue water tank. it takes over about a quarter of the mountain face in this picture. i hadn't ever known about it until a neighbor told me about it a year ago. and now i point it out to whoever will listen.
heard: crazy talk. a man walking about 10 yards behind his wife (i think) pushing a stroller:
"i can't wait to get the evil eye on my arm, then i will look like the devil for real."
a pause....... and then:
"how can you walk so fast"
hmmm. i wonder how his evil eye tattoo came out. lucky woman, no?
seen: a gorilla. do you see it in the face of the mountain? above and to the left of the blue water tank. it takes over about a quarter of the mountain face in this picture. i hadn't ever known about it until a neighbor told me about it a year ago. and now i point it out to whoever will listen.
heard: crazy talk. a man walking about 10 yards behind his wife (i think) pushing a stroller:
"i can't wait to get the evil eye on my arm, then i will look like the devil for real."
a pause....... and then:
"how can you walk so fast"
hmmm. i wonder how his evil eye tattoo came out. lucky woman, no?
Thursday, November 21, 2013
the evolution of a haircut
posted by jennifer:
so, i cut my own hair. and have been doing so for about the last 6 or 7 years. well, i guess technically i have been doing it even longer than that. i know there were a few instances in my childhood that i started practicing the art... ahem. but i didn't start in earnest until more recent years.
i didn't just pick up the scissors one day and decide to go for it. there was a process i went through. it all started with isaac. he was the first "real" hair stylist i went to. you know, not your run of the mill strip mall chain stylist. my mom and sister had been going to him, and
i decided to plunk down my money and see what this isaac was all about. i loved my haircut. so much that i went to isaac, who was in fullerton (orange county), even after i moved down to san diego.
then isaac moved away.
i had to find a new hair stylist.
i asked a friend, whose haircut i loved, where she went. she gave me the information for a swanky stylist in hillcrest. a rather artsy, hip neighborhood in san diego. i set the appointment. i was a little nervous, because i am not the adventurous, directional savvy type girl. i get lost frequently. and am one of those drivers who gets a little, um, erratic when i don't know where i am going. i have never been in, or caused an accident or anything, but i am sure i have had a few choice words spewed in my direction when, well, let's say, i am looking for a hair salon i have never been to.
well, i made a wrong turn. i was late for the appointment...very, very late. the hair stylist wasn't pleased. i started getting all choked up when trying to explain myself. yes, i tend to do that. this was probably 12 years ago. but i still remember the way she was looking at me. i must have looked pathetic. and very out of my element. so, i dried off my tears. and kept up my search.
i found a stylist i liked. close to home. i knew i would not get lost. but, no, the stylist was not myself..... yet.
i went to that woman for about 2 years. until she left. ugh. i tried a new stylist at the same salon, and left more than once with a haircut i did not like. it was then that i started to question what exactly i was paying for. i clearly remember thinking "a hair student could do a better job."
so, i found a cosmetology school. you could have a student cut your hair for like $10 or something. by this time, i definitely didn't feel like i could continue to spend $50+ on a haircut.
the first time i left the cosmetology school with my new haircut i felt pretty smug. i couldn't believe people didn't go to cosmetology schools more often to be guinea pigs. i had one of my best haircuts ever..... that time.
i think that the girl who cut my hair the first time must have graduated...at the top of her class. and i think the second and third time i went, the students must have been held back.... or maybe it was there first day of school. at this point my thought was "i could do a better job than this."
well, it is all ancient history now.
i never get lost on the way to the bathroom. i don't need to schedule an appointment. i can get a touch up whenever i want. i don't need to worry about being witty, or more accurately, don't need to worry about how socially awkward i must seem when trying to make small talk. and best of all, i have gotten compliments on my hair. and they are not those courtesy compliments... when someone doesn't know what to say because what is before them is so uncomfortably awful. you know "you look great".... when said receiver of the compliment is a horribly hot mess. (oh no, i hope they are not courtesy compliments... egads!)
at least 90% of the time, i am happy with my self haircuts. and that my friends is a better percentage than when i was going to the professionals.... and sometimes not so professionals. hmmm. well, regardless, i will continue to cut my own hair. at least for now. but who knows about the future. thus is the evolution of a haircut.
so, i cut my own hair. and have been doing so for about the last 6 or 7 years. well, i guess technically i have been doing it even longer than that. i know there were a few instances in my childhood that i started practicing the art... ahem. but i didn't start in earnest until more recent years.
i didn't just pick up the scissors one day and decide to go for it. there was a process i went through. it all started with isaac. he was the first "real" hair stylist i went to. you know, not your run of the mill strip mall chain stylist. my mom and sister had been going to him, and
i decided to plunk down my money and see what this isaac was all about. i loved my haircut. so much that i went to isaac, who was in fullerton (orange county), even after i moved down to san diego.
then isaac moved away.
i had to find a new hair stylist.
i asked a friend, whose haircut i loved, where she went. she gave me the information for a swanky stylist in hillcrest. a rather artsy, hip neighborhood in san diego. i set the appointment. i was a little nervous, because i am not the adventurous, directional savvy type girl. i get lost frequently. and am one of those drivers who gets a little, um, erratic when i don't know where i am going. i have never been in, or caused an accident or anything, but i am sure i have had a few choice words spewed in my direction when, well, let's say, i am looking for a hair salon i have never been to.
well, i made a wrong turn. i was late for the appointment...very, very late. the hair stylist wasn't pleased. i started getting all choked up when trying to explain myself. yes, i tend to do that. this was probably 12 years ago. but i still remember the way she was looking at me. i must have looked pathetic. and very out of my element. so, i dried off my tears. and kept up my search.
i found a stylist i liked. close to home. i knew i would not get lost. but, no, the stylist was not myself..... yet.
i went to that woman for about 2 years. until she left. ugh. i tried a new stylist at the same salon, and left more than once with a haircut i did not like. it was then that i started to question what exactly i was paying for. i clearly remember thinking "a hair student could do a better job."
so, i found a cosmetology school. you could have a student cut your hair for like $10 or something. by this time, i definitely didn't feel like i could continue to spend $50+ on a haircut.
the first time i left the cosmetology school with my new haircut i felt pretty smug. i couldn't believe people didn't go to cosmetology schools more often to be guinea pigs. i had one of my best haircuts ever..... that time.
i think that the girl who cut my hair the first time must have graduated...at the top of her class. and i think the second and third time i went, the students must have been held back.... or maybe it was there first day of school. at this point my thought was "i could do a better job than this."
well, it is all ancient history now.
i never get lost on the way to the bathroom. i don't need to schedule an appointment. i can get a touch up whenever i want. i don't need to worry about being witty, or more accurately, don't need to worry about how socially awkward i must seem when trying to make small talk. and best of all, i have gotten compliments on my hair. and they are not those courtesy compliments... when someone doesn't know what to say because what is before them is so uncomfortably awful. you know "you look great".... when said receiver of the compliment is a horribly hot mess. (oh no, i hope they are not courtesy compliments... egads!)
at least 90% of the time, i am happy with my self haircuts. and that my friends is a better percentage than when i was going to the professionals.... and sometimes not so professionals. hmmm. well, regardless, i will continue to cut my own hair. at least for now. but who knows about the future. thus is the evolution of a haircut.
Friday, November 15, 2013
"shut up, i'm busy making my life perfect".... and other musings
posted by jennifer:
i have always saved..... not lives, or money (at least not much) but i have always saved clippings, quotes, notes, pictures, inspirations, recipes.
i remember when my dad put in a wall size bulletin board in my bedroom growing up. i loved it. i loved having a place to tack all of my saved ephemera... all of those things that at that point in my life were so important to me.
i thought it would be fun to share some of the things that are on my wall now. these pictures were taken in my art room... in our basement garage. my own little corner... at least mostly.
i don't think that this picture needs much explanation. my now 11 year old daughter gave it to me when she was around 5. i love it.
the title piece of this post. i don't remember the context of when this was said. i do know that i was on the phone with my sister april and said this. i remember how we cracked up about it. it really is so silly. but come on. it is awfully funny right? oh, and by the way, that tack is one that graced my original wall size bulletin board when i was young. yep. still have it.
so, i am a bit of a addict of bravo reality t.v. and i have been slowly weaning myself off of the real housewives, but it still calls to me i must admit. anyway. back in the day, april and i were totally into it. especially the real housewives of orange county. i mean really. april is a real housewife of o.c. and so is our mom.
we were so excited about the season premiere that april sent me a pound of see's candy to have on hand for the occasion. what a friend. isn't it lucky that my two best friends just so happen to be my sister and my mom?.... i know right?
i love these two pictures. side by side. i love them because i think that the resemblance between my grandma taylor and myself is so clear. i never did know my dad's mom as much as i did my mom's mom... but this picture makes me smile... and feel connected. you know.
i love this quote. i used it on the birthday card invitations for my 40th. fun times.
this picture i took out of the san diego union tribune years ago. i love it. i think someday it will find a place in a mixed media piece. that kid looks like one cool cat.
thomas jefferson. i really like so many quotes of his. he seems like my kind of guy. of all the founding fathers i think he is the one i would want to have dinner with. simple bacon of course!
aren't these necklaces beautiful? i don't really wear much jewelry. only my wedding ring, and my one ear piercing on my left ear. i had the piercing done probably 12 years ago. i have never taken it out. i wonder if i ever will?
but i really like these necklaces. i think i might need to try and make one.
baby blues. i loved this comic strip for many years. we don't get the paper anymore... and i can't be bothered to read comics online... but these comics almost always hit home.
guess who is back. my man t.j. that is thomas jefferson. another great quote.
i love, love, love this picture. i am talking to april on the phone here. it is not uncommon for my babies to follow me around. as they did before this picture was taken. but what i like so much about this picture is how i look so calm. even in the chaos surrounding me. the eye of the storm is me.
and lastly. this is a quote from the book loving frank by nancy horan. i really feel this way about my children.
oh, and the writing looks so wonky because that wall is very rough, and bumpy. but, i do not think i should be a professional wall writer. i don't think i would have very happy clients.
well. that is all for this round. have a wonderful weekend. cheers!
i have always saved..... not lives, or money (at least not much) but i have always saved clippings, quotes, notes, pictures, inspirations, recipes.
i remember when my dad put in a wall size bulletin board in my bedroom growing up. i loved it. i loved having a place to tack all of my saved ephemera... all of those things that at that point in my life were so important to me.
i thought it would be fun to share some of the things that are on my wall now. these pictures were taken in my art room... in our basement garage. my own little corner... at least mostly.
i don't think that this picture needs much explanation. my now 11 year old daughter gave it to me when she was around 5. i love it.
the title piece of this post. i don't remember the context of when this was said. i do know that i was on the phone with my sister april and said this. i remember how we cracked up about it. it really is so silly. but come on. it is awfully funny right? oh, and by the way, that tack is one that graced my original wall size bulletin board when i was young. yep. still have it.
so, i am a bit of a addict of bravo reality t.v. and i have been slowly weaning myself off of the real housewives, but it still calls to me i must admit. anyway. back in the day, april and i were totally into it. especially the real housewives of orange county. i mean really. april is a real housewife of o.c. and so is our mom.
we were so excited about the season premiere that april sent me a pound of see's candy to have on hand for the occasion. what a friend. isn't it lucky that my two best friends just so happen to be my sister and my mom?.... i know right?
i love these two pictures. side by side. i love them because i think that the resemblance between my grandma taylor and myself is so clear. i never did know my dad's mom as much as i did my mom's mom... but this picture makes me smile... and feel connected. you know.
i love this quote. i used it on the birthday card invitations for my 40th. fun times.
this picture i took out of the san diego union tribune years ago. i love it. i think someday it will find a place in a mixed media piece. that kid looks like one cool cat.
thomas jefferson. i really like so many quotes of his. he seems like my kind of guy. of all the founding fathers i think he is the one i would want to have dinner with. simple bacon of course!
aren't these necklaces beautiful? i don't really wear much jewelry. only my wedding ring, and my one ear piercing on my left ear. i had the piercing done probably 12 years ago. i have never taken it out. i wonder if i ever will?
but i really like these necklaces. i think i might need to try and make one.
baby blues. i loved this comic strip for many years. we don't get the paper anymore... and i can't be bothered to read comics online... but these comics almost always hit home.
guess who is back. my man t.j. that is thomas jefferson. another great quote.
i love, love, love this picture. i am talking to april on the phone here. it is not uncommon for my babies to follow me around. as they did before this picture was taken. but what i like so much about this picture is how i look so calm. even in the chaos surrounding me. the eye of the storm is me.
and lastly. this is a quote from the book loving frank by nancy horan. i really feel this way about my children.
oh, and the writing looks so wonky because that wall is very rough, and bumpy. but, i do not think i should be a professional wall writer. i don't think i would have very happy clients.
well. that is all for this round. have a wonderful weekend. cheers!
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